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| i stumbled across a series of, pretty disturbing news. to be honest, im pretty shocked, nono, a better word would be hmmm nauseated. goodness me... well, i guess it goes to show what immaturity is huh? its so sad how people just would want to throw theyre lives away like that... i literally speechless!
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ogl meeting was alright today i suppose. i had a good time. some people are actually really nice!!! hahah trish is the cutest i swear.Oh thank goodness i got to see jamal later today. :D miss those two already! theyre the best. oh so anyway, orientation dance seems..... interesting? hahah i'd guess it will get better:D leanne and junhung usually managed to pull it off anyways. (well, then again, we are usually known for being really last min (im talking abt dancers:D)).
kk will post more tmr or smth before i leave on sat morning. nights!
(ariel i love you!)
xoxo, sarah | | |
| im crying out. and im praying with all my might. dont take the one thing that means most to me away from me. cause i wont be able to deal with 2 deaths in one year.. not here. not now. i wont take it. | | |
| so a couple of stuff happened since i've been away;
1-jess's birthday party at tony romas. okay it was a lot of fun i had since. forever back then. i managed to get to spend time with my friends, especially ben, whom i miss OH SO MUCH. goodness me.that was really fun. and dinner was awesome
2-faiyaz graciously invited me to attend F1 with him. thank you :D hahah we were stuck in a.. er.... strange situation. was definately an experience! haha
3-Dr. Barret's goodbye dinner- okay it was quite a long way after the first 2. haha it was quite enjoyable. a tab bit freaky when all the teachers are all in your friends house. as well as the principal! haha the food was divine, and the conversations witty. I enjoyed every moment. haha it was nice to see shun there too!! after quite a long time
4-today!!! my first day out to town since, eons. ( meaning since i can remember) im so glad i went with the bunch of people today.
i realised that everything is over, the exams.. the books, the studying (well for now that is) and i also realise that i need to come to terms with the facts, my best friend is leaving, im going to be year5 next year, work starts really soon, and immediately after work i have orientation planning (something i am looking forward to btw.) my results are out the day school reopens, and i'll just be leading my life from there. somehow it feels like my melancholy life has already been planned out for me, almost like a time table. there are time that i have my own time, and times where i serve others. i feel ready to work, and am ready. and i want it so bad. i just cannot believe this time has come. I'm greatly blessed with people who surround me with good advice but sometimes all the advise makes me feel like a stranger in a crowded room, uncertain and fearful. interested yet shy. it's a love-hate and bittersweet ending to things. i, in turn need to follow what i feel is right for me, just like my dad told me. I am excited cause i feel that this is THE turning point of my life as it is.
pictures
from jess's party
from F1
from Dr.Barret's good bye
from today
bye guys:D xoxo
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| tiresome work is consuming me, bit by bit. i cant wait till this is all over. i mean seriously. but well then again im going to befit fro all this arent i?
im a excited mood!!!! and happy too.:D just ate some pretty awesome dinner today. and it was quite early around 4-5 actually im pretty amazed by how long ive held up actually:D
tuesdays.. tuesdays.. killer:( DANCE TOMORROW:D yayyyyy:D hahha kkk imma go.
p.s saw ms barnet today and becca. nice to see them both:D | | |
| so many of my friends are getting sick. its extremely depressing. first it was jamal, then trish, now yungseng. whos next!? hmmmm
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ive been self rejoicing about my 2 A grades and my passing of chemistry and econs lately.i know i should be happy, however something inside me never seems to fit. although i know ive tried hard, somehow i know i could have at least done better. yes. "it is so demoralizing" as one of my friends have said. just the hope of ,hmmmm say, feeling smart, at the very least escapes me. Neither do i get much support.why does it feel like i only have myself to fall back on sometimes. and i know that isnt true. but maybe its that constant fear, well more of question, that regularly repeats itself in my head. : so, are you good enough?
this question will always be there, be it in whatever educational/work industry i go to, its gonna be there. it is a question which will beleaguer and antagonize me until my final breath. something i have no control of in fact. a burden i must carry until my dying day. (pstchhh, i must quit with all this talk about death.) im exhausted. and probably suffering from fatigue, just slightly oblivious to it as i now feel numb (now as in at the moment, yes this VERY moment). maybe this is my new found friend,.... frienemy? friend called stress. (say hi stress! "HI!!!!" ok that was retarded=.=) i extrapolate that i do not work well under pressure. scratch that, i cant even win a game under pressure (talking about typing maniac guys). but then again, who does? stress is my kryptonite. it will break me. it has.
however, it helps that my friends in year5 are extremely supportive of me, givng me advise almost everytime the see me. i really appreciate that. thank you verrrry much
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is this supposed to be happening to me? well girls? one day i feel my world is AWESOME, happy and undisturbed. The next, i feel very much.... DISTURBED. i am terribly apologetic that whoever reads this has to read a post about questions and stress. probably the last thing which you wanna read is about that. my week has been, how you say, full of surprises. the surprise of who you can rely on, or who you cant, grades, new found stress, and new found annoyances. (this basically sums up what i have learnt this past, say 1-3 weeks)
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on the up side, im going for dance tomorrow. Thank God. my "power"outlet is back again. just the time when i need it. i must let out some steam and have fun. i miss it though. and well i miss dance LAST year. when we were at our peak. it was relaxation to me. and probably still is, just without such, er... enthusiasm? oh well!! what to do what to dooo.
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oh if CHEE YUNG SENG READS THIS: you missed out today:( we had losta fun with yuhern! hahahahah will explain to you when i give you a call. missin ya!!! hope you get well soon!!
i really hope my friends get better. i miss trish SO MUCH. ah yes, not to forget jamal. yes yes him too :D
xoxo sarah belle
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